Are you their solution? Or are you part of the problem?
In his book, Give and Take, Adam Grant describes the essential traits of “givers” in a world where people take advantage of one another. He says that givers are people who have empathy for others, who care about making others better off and helping them be successful. It’s important to note that “giving” doesn’t mean giving away something for free; it means helping someone get more out of their potential by investing in them—and getting paid back tenfold in return.
Listening
Listening is the most important skill you can have as a salesperson or marketer and one of the hardest to master. It's easy to get distracted by what people are saying and miss what they're not saying—the emotions behind their words, for example.
Listen for more than just content: Your client might be agreeing with you but thinking about how much she dislikes your pitch or product. If you don't pay attention to these cues, you may end up doing things that drive away customers rather than bring them closer.
When you're meeting with a group of people, take note on how they interact with each other. In fact, if you have the chance to have more than one person from your team on a call, have someone else scribe any open actions, and while you run the meeting, take notes on the interpersonal interactions that take place. Record body language. Note when people talk over or interrupt each other. This is going to give you insight into who has influence, and with whom you should invest more time later.
One small step:
Another good way to develop this skill is by listening in on conversations between other people—at parties or at work meetings where there are no stakes involved—and observing how they interact with each other without trying to take part directly (unless asked). Do they listen? Or do they interrupt each other constantly? How often do they let others finish speaking before responding?
Of course, don't be weird. Just, notice if you can. Get curious.
Curiosity
In fact, curiosity is one of the most powerful tools you can use to build rapport with a prospect. When you ask questions from a place of genuine interest, your prospect will feel more comfortable around you and be more willing to share important information.
If you're meeting with a CEO or CFO, ask them about their business first. What are some of their biggest challenges right now? How do they plan on tackling them? If you're meeting at an event or conference, ask them what they're looking forward to most at the conference (and if they have any tips for getting the most out of it).
After asking these questions, dig deeper. But remember: you want to be curious, not nosy. And when you don't understand, tell them. The worst thing you can do for your customer is walk away thinking you know what they want and solving for the wrong thing. For example after these:
What prompted you to look into this?
What are your expectations around the solution/outcome?
If you aren't clear on their response, ask open-ended follow up questions, like:
Can you help me understand that a little better?
What does that mean?
It doesn't mean you're slow or don't "get it." It demonstrates you want to more deeply understand them and their business. And who doesn't want that?
One small step:
A good way to develop genuine curiosity is to start with people you already know well—friends, family, co-workers—and brainstorming a list of questions you could ask them that would help you understand them even better. For example:
What are some of your favorite things about your job?
What's your favorite memory from childhood?
What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Who is someone that you admire and why?
Flexibility
Flexibility is your most important asset. As a professional, you have the ability to adapt and adjust, which means you can be more effective than anyone else at solving problems.
Being flexible doesn’t mean settling for less than what you know is possible; it means finding creative solutions for your clients by using all the tools in your tool box.
What your clients need from you is bound to change. How you respond to those changes is important. If you're inflexible, you'll become a liability. If you're flexible, you'll be an asset.
One small step:
The best way to develop this skill is by practicing it in your personal life. Are you the type of person who is able to go with the flow? Or do you like everything to be planned out in advance? If you're someone who likes things to be planned out, try experimenting with going with the flow a little more. See how it feels and take note of the differences.
Make yourself invaluable
Making yourself invaluable means making sure you’re always providing value, and not just with your product or service. How? Think about your client in their world outside the buying process. As an employee with goals and objectives and a mountain of emails and other to-do's they need to get done.
How can you help?
Be a solution to the questions behind their questions. By thinking about how you can help them solve whatever challenges they are facing before they become big problems.
And it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, either.
One small step:
Think about that email, text or Slack message you're about to send with "just a quick question"—is it really necessary? After all, they're people with stuffed inboxes, 92 unread Slacks, a couple texts they need to get back to and too much else to do.
Rather than becoming another thing demanding action in the form a bright red notification 🔴 on their inbox, TALK to them. Seriously. Pick up the phone and have a quick conversation.
Need to document the decision that was made during the conversation for the future? Send a summary after. In the subject line, write NO ACTION REQUIRED or do something else to make it obvious there's no work needed from them, and then tell them it's coming so they can file it the instant they see it.
Conclusion
Being a giver and developing empathy for your customers is one of the most important skills you can have as a salesperson or marketer. It will help you understand what they are looking for, what their challenges are, and how you can be of service. The tips I've provided in this article should help get you started on the path to becoming a more empathetic client engagement professional.
If you want to be an invaluable asset to your clients, start by taking small practical steps. Offer solutions to the questions behind their questions and think about how you can help them solve whatever challenges they are facing before they become big problems. This way, you'll be more effective at solving for your customers' needs.
And if you don't know where to start, start really small. Pick up the phone and have a quick conversation instead of sending an email.